Beans and pulses should be included in everyone’s diet, but for women they are especially important. They are highly nutritious, low in fat, and an excellent source of vegetable protein. A fibre-rich diet is one of the first components to colon cancer prevention, and with more women dying of colon cancer than breast cancer every year; it makes sense to eat plenty of beans. This group of foods also contain phytoestrogens, the natural plant hormones, which are also protective against cancer, as well as being important for bone health.

Kale

Kale is an often-overlooked vegetable that happens to be loaded with folate (folic acid), an important B vitamin for women. Having a deficiency in folic acid during pregnancy may cause neural-tube defects in babies. In the UK, all women of childbearing age are now thought to need 400 micrograms of folate daily. Kale is also an excellent source of vitamin C and calcium, too.

Orange vegetables

Orange squashes (and tubers) like pumpkin, butternut squash and sweet potatoes are a girl’s best friend when it comes to nutritious, comforting food. All these foods are filling, low in calories, and rich in beta-carotene, a precursor to vitamin A, which will work plenty of it’s antioxidant magic in your body. Antioxidants are important in the anti-ageing process, helping to repair and regenerate skin and other tissues. Beta-carotene is also thought to help reduce the risk of breast cancer.

Linseeds (flaxseeds)

Flax seeds (or linseeds) and flax seed oil have so much to offer women. For starters, flax is full of “essential” Omega 3 fatty acids (EFA’s), which help to balance a women’s hormones, protect a woman from heart disease (the leading cause of premature death among women) and the pain of arthritis. The dietary fibres in flax are called lignans, which contain phytoestrogens, currently being researched and showing promise in cancer prevention. Lignans are also thought to have antioxidant properties. The best way to get the benefit of the flaxseeds fibre and oils is to grind them in a clean coffee mill, used just for this purpose. Alternatively use a pestle and mortar, and sprinkle them onto cereal in the morning or add them to a bowl of natural yogurt and fruit. The essential fatty acids are very fragile, unstable, and liable to oxidation if exposed to light and air. Within the whole seeds, the oil is protected. So buy fresh, organic seeds if at all possible. You can eat them whole; just chew them thoroughly!

Iron-rich foods

Women need to eat more iron-rich foods. Getting iron from food (as opposed to a supplement) is by far the best way to get the correct amount of iron the body needs and can absorb. Lean red meats and dark poultry are the ideal food sources of iron. Unfortunately that doesn’t help much if you are vegetarian or one of the many women who avoid red meats. In this case, think about eating more of the following iron-rich foods… lentils, dried apricots, beans, spinach, enriched wholegrain cereals, pumpkin seeds, and oysters! If you do need to take a supplement, the best choices are Easy Iron (Higher Nature Ltd), which is an organic, food-form of iron, and Floradix, an herbal-based iron-rich tonic. Increase your intake of vitamin C too, which helps to absorb non-haem sources of iron.

Soya

Soya foods (including beans, tofu, soya milk & yogurt, soy sauce, Tamari and Miso) are the richest food sources of phytoestrogens (and of course soy protein). The natural plant substances – phytoestrogens – are now thought to be beneficial in maintaining bone density, as well as being the best “alternative” to HRT when many women need hormonal support as they enter menopausal years. Tofu, milk, and yogurt are also great calcium sources. All these foods can help a woman significantly lower her bad cholesterol (LDL) and raise the good (HDL) cholesterol. Tofu is a great source of low-fat, vegetable protein, best used in a vegetable stir-fry with soy sauce, and brown rice. Try Cauldron Foods, firm tofu.

Brocolli

Broccoli is not only a good source of calcium and B vitamins; it contains plant substances called sulphurophanes. These plant chemicals are cancer-protective and help the liver process and clear any excess oestrogen. Nowadays we don’t just produce oestrogen internally, but we are exposed to it in the environment in the form of oestrogen-like chemicals found in plastics, tap water and other insidious places. Excess oestrogen causes weight gain, hormonal imbalances, night sweating, and presents an increased risk of fibroids, breast cysts, breast cancer and endometriosis.

Calcium and magnesium – rich foods

Women of all ages need enough calcium in their diets to build and maintain strong bones. Calcium-rich foods that are also good sources of magnesium (and other nutrients) go a long way to supporting bone, and heart health. Magnesium is the nutrient that plays an important role in the creation of new bone; so think about seeds and nuts as healthy additions to a wholegrain cereal. Calcium, magnesium and potassium are alkalising minerals. Bones serve as a reservoir of these highly important alkaline minerals, which are released to help neutralise the acids in your body. If your body is overly acidic (this happens if you eat a lot animal protein, smoke or drink too much alcohol, or become highly stressed), your bones must donate their minerals to restore your pH balance. This can deplete the bones, leaving them brittle and weak.

The UK RNI for calcium is 700 milligrams a day, but many experts feel it should be more like 1200 to 1500 milligrams a day. When you take into consideration the epidemic of osteoporosis and heart disease among women, it is wise to include or increase your intake of the following foods… plain natural yogurt, which is not only a source of beneficial bacteria for good colon health, it is also much easier to digest than other dairy products), parmesan cheese (again, easy to digest), ricotta cheese & goat’s cheese, tinned bony salmon, freshly grilled sardines, kale, almonds and sunflower seeds, tofu, fortified “SoGood” soya milk (20% more calcium than cow’s milk) and “Provamel” soya yogurts. Replacing dairy with soya milk and yogurts in the diet provides all the benefits of soya protein while reducing the amounts of animal fats in the diet. A 100g serving of tofu or 125g pot of plain yogurt both provide 200mg of calcium. An ounce of Parmesan provides a whopping 390mg of calcium, and 100g canned pink salmon 300mg. Don’t forget your fruit and vegetables… latest research in bone health shows that women who have more fruit and vegetables in their diets, tend to have higher bone density. Fruit and vegetables contain an array of micronutrients such as magnesium, vitamin C, and boron. We now know that these play an equally important role in bone metabolism.

If you feel you need to supplement with calcium, remember that calcium should be taken with magnesium in a 2:1 ratio. This is because calcium and magnesium require each other for proper absorption, and utilisation in the body. So, if you supplement with 500 mg of calcium, you need to take 250 mg of magnesium at the same time. Most reputable companies now formulate supplements that take this into account, as well as the synergistic “need” for the other nutrients involved in the entire process of bone metabolism. Choose carefully.

Water!

Water is a nutrient and the fact is, we need it… and plenty of it. Certainly, water may be one of the best tools in the weight loss game. It not only suppresses the appetite, but helps the body metabolise stored fat. Water keeps the body’s tissues well hydrated, so if you want smooth, line-free skin for as long as is naturally possible… drink!

Salmon and other oily fish (in moderation)

Salmon was at one time avoided in favour of white fish or sole, due it’s higher fat content. However, once we understood the value and benefit of the essential “Omega 3 fatty acids” present in salmon and other oily fish, it was back on the plate.
The time has arrived however, that food-conscious individuals are steering away from oily fish again (or at least cutting down), not because of the fat content, but because of the presence of harmful chemicals and metals. Fish such as mackerel, salmon and swordfish are known to contain high levels of potentially carcinogenic chemicals, and others, including shark, marlin, swordfish and red snapper contain the highest levels of mercury. These larger, long-lived predatory fish and mammals tend to accumulate more mercury from the environment than shorter-lived fish.
The Food Standards Agency (FSA) recommends that we eat 2-4 portions of fish a week, and 1-2 at least should be of an oily variety. Pregnant mothers are the only group that need to limit oily fish intake to 2 portions a week, but not to avoid fish altogether. Omega-3 fats are vital for the baby’s brain development. Many people often prefer to take an uncontaminated fish oil supplement, or stick to flax seeds as a source of Omega-3’s. Nutri’s Eskimo oil is one of the best un-contaminated fish oils on the market, and contains the fat-soluble antioxidant vitamin E to ensure the fish oils do not oxidise in the body.
Remember Omega-3s ARE essential to good health, and freedom from diseases such as Alzheimer’s, cancer, depression, diabetes, heart disease, and rheumatoid arthritis… so as I say, don’t avoid fish altogether, as fish oil is clearly the richest source of Omega 3’s we know. Important omega-3s are DHA (docosahexaenoic acid), and EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid) – from fish oil and algae – and alpha linolenic acid, usually from vegetable sources such as flax seed oil. In a healthy person, linolenic acid can be converted to DHA, and EPA, provided the correct enzymes are present. However, only 2% of the alpha-linolenic acid found in flax oil is actually converted to EPA… far less than we find in fish oil. EPA and DHA substantially lower your risk of heart disease by lowering LDL cholesterol and triglycerides, prevent blood platelets from becoming sticky, and can lower blood pressure. They also promote good bone health, heart health, and breast health. DHA is particularly important during brain development, so is a popular and useful supplement during pregnancy.

Re: CANNED FISH – During the canning process of tuna, all the fat is lost, so tinned tuna does not count as an oily fish. The canning process of other fish (salmon, sardines, pilchards etc.) is different to that of tuna, and does not affect the oil content of the fish. How the canning process affects the stability and integrity of the delicate fish oils has not been fully elucidated. The possible presence of mercury and toxic chemicals I would imagine is no different in canned vs. fresh fish.

Eating fruit to offset mercury absorption?

To enjoy fish while minimising your mercury exposure, eat some tropical fruit for dessert… eating antioxidant-rich tropical fruits, such as mango, pineapple, banana, and papaya, may help reduce the amount of mercury that your body absorbs, according to research published recently in Environmental Research (2003).
This particular study was a 12-month prospective dietary survey, carried out with 26 adult women from a fish-eating community in the Brazilian Amazon. They found a strong relationship between fish consumption and mercury (Hg) levels in hair. Not surprising you may think…. What was surprising and very interesting was the finding that this strong relationship was significantly modified by fruit consumption: for the same number of fish meals, those who ate more tropical fruits had lower hair mercury levels. The findings of this study indicate different ways of maintaining fish consumption while reducing Hg exposure in the Amazon. A number of phytochemicals and nutritional fibres present in fruits might be interacting with Hg in several ways: absorption and excretion transport, binding to target proteins, metabolism, and sequestration.
More research on larger worldwide populations would further elucidate the extent, and public health implications of the use of fruits to counteract the toxic action of methylmercury.

Try this tasty fish dish… with minimal mercury exposure!

Fresh Tuna Steak with Mango Salsa
(Serves 2)

Ingredients:
2 fresh Tuna steaks, marinated in olive oil and chopped garlic

For the salsa:
1 whole mango, peeled, sliced off the stone and chopped
A small piece of finely chopped fresh ginger root
Handful of chopped fresh coriander
1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar and 1 tablespoon of olive oil, mixed
Juice of half a lemon or lime
Ground black pepper to taste

Method:
Place the steaks into a frying pan. Pan-fry on a medium heat until opaque on the outside and a little pink in the middle.
While the fish is cooking, combine all the salsa ingredients in a bowl and mix thoroughly.
Serve the fish alongside the mango salsa and a large mixed green salad.

10. Believing in ‘..and they lived happily ever after”. Women are fed romantic ideals from the day they are born. Books and movies aimed at girls invariably promote the big wedding to the perfect man as the ideal ending, from Snow White to Hilary Duff, from fairy tales to Mills and Boon. Is it any wonder women don’t tend to look past the romance of the wedding to the 50 or so years of marriage that follows! The truth is, marriage is hard work! A more realistic perspective would be that marriage is about 20% happiness, 30% contentment and 50% plain hard work! Going into marriage with a realistic attitude will prevent a lot of disappointment.

9. Believing that they can change him. Women have a tendency to gloss over qualities they don’t like in a man, telling themselves ‘oh, he’ll change’ or ‘I’ll work on that’. It doesn’t work, because you can’t force a person to change. If you do manage to bully him into changing, your relationship will suffer. Either accept and enjoy the differences between you or create an environment that encourages him to want to change for you.

8. Believing that he will always be romantic. Often women have very unrealistic expectations based on the way their partner behaved during the courtship phase. Unfortunately, most men heave a big sigh of relief once they have won you because they think ‘hey, I can relax now and stop doing all that girly stuff’! That doesn’t mean you have to give up on romance, just don’t expect a ‘grand gesture’ every day.

7. Losing self. Getting into an intense relationship before they’ve developed a clear sense of their own identity is another common mistake young women make. Without a clear sense of self, women identify overly with their partner and find it difficult to stand up for themselves and their own needs. A woman with a strong sense of identity, however, is a more interesting and equal partner.

6. Giving up friends and interests. With the thrill of being in love, it is too easy for women to put friends and family, hobbies and sports on the backburner. This is a fundamental mistake to make because a) women depend on support networks throughout their lives and b) men just can’t be everything to a woman. It is asking too much of them. It is important to maintain a happy balance in your life.

5. Rushing into marriage. It almost seems to be a race across the wedding finishing line for many young women. Marriage can last an eternity, but your single 20s only last a decade at the most! Don’t rush into it. Just because you found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, doesn’t mean you have to marry him straight away. Enjoy your youth so that you will not have any regrets later.

4. Not having conversations about serious issues. Talk to your partner about where you both stand on issues that can make or break a marriage. Talk about the number of children you both want, are you intending to stay home to raise them, where your priorities lie, spending styles, dreams and goals, where you see yourself 20 years from now, parenting styles, sharing of responsibilities, etc. You need to know beforehand if his beliefs are incompatible with yours. This alone can determine how happy or conflicted your marriage is.

Also, have discussions about ground rules. Negotiations should be conducted before you sign on the dotted line. Too many of us rush into marriage and then spend the first decade negotiating the details! Sit down and nut out the details before you get married. Work out the basic rules that you both need to follow in order to have a happy marriage. It is important to be realistic, though, and to not agree to any rules that you know are unreasonable. Sex every day may work for him but it probably won’t for you! Also, realize that these rules may need to be renegotiated now and then, such as when you have children.

3. Having sex before sussing out the guy. Research shows that women are genetically programmed to fall in love with someone they have sex with. Make sure that he is someone you have the potential to be happy with, before you jump into bed with him! Afterwards, your hormones are likely to override your commonsense. This is how the Bree Van Der Camps of the world find themselves married to the Tommy Lee Jones of the world! Sometimes this work because your fundamental beliefs are the same but don’t let your hormones make that decision for you.

2. Settling. A lot of women start to panic if they aren’t married by their mid-20s, and god forbid they reach 30 without being married! That ol’ biological clock starts ticking loudly. The result is that they make excuses and rationalizations to themselves about a relationship that is already dull and past its use-by date, or which they know has serious issues. Marrying someone because you are afraid to be alone is unfair to yourself and your partner. Someone once said ‘I don’t want to spend a lifetime turning a bad relationship into an average one; I want to start with a good relationship and make it a great one’. Hear, hear.

And the No. 1 mistake women make is

1. Getting married because they are ‘in love’. Being in love is not a good enough reason to marry. We can fall in love for many reasons – it doesn’t mean the man you have fallen in love with will be a good partner. Choosing a good partner makes all the difference between having a harmonious marriage and a difficult marriage. You need to seriously question how well you two can work together for a lifetime. Do you complement each other? Does he make you feel like a better person or a lesser one?

I fell in love with 3 completely different men before I finally married. If I had married the first man I fell in love with, I would have ended up with an adrenaline junkie which would have stressful for a couch-and-book lover like me; if I had married the second man I fell in love with, I would have ended up with a compulsive cheater; and if I had married the third man I fell in love with, I would have ended up with an emotionally stunted husband. Each taught me a valuable lesson about what I wanted in a husband. The result is that I married a good man who still spoils me 20 years later.

Marriage can be a wonderful experience. It can be painful, frustrating, hilarious, comforting, annoying and tender. How much it leans to either end of the happiness spectrum depends on you making a good choice of partner at the beginning.

2. Seek advice from her family and friends. Getting your fiancé’s mother or best girlfriend to OK the purchase before swiping your credit card is the best way to guarantee you’re on the right track. Some online retailers are great for this because you can forward links of the shortlist to family and friends anywhere in the world.

3. Buy for your partner’s body, character and lifestyle. It’s important to keep a ring in proportion with the wearer’s frame and hands, so narrower bands suit wider fingers and wider, chunkier bands suit longer, slender fingers.

4. Customise the ring. If you want to buy her the perfect ring then consider a custom design. It is not necessarily any more expensive and it’s a great way to make the ring all the more special. Some websites offer great design-your-own features.

5. Choose the right metal for your band. In terms of precious metals to choose from you have 18ct yellow, white, or rose gold, and platinum, with the latter being the most expensive. Platinum is the most resistant metal, but a good 18 carat gold will provide almost the same durability.

6. Get the ring size right. Some common tricks are to take a ring she wears now and press it into a bar of soap or trace the outline onto a piece of paper. Some retailers will even send a complementary ring-sizer to you – so you don’t have to smuggle one of hers out of the house.

7. Follow the four C’s – carat, cut, colour, and clarity. This is a common recommendation when it comes to diamonds, but it’s advice you’d be wise to adhere to! Carat denotes weight, but remember that bigger is not always better and the other factors must be taken into account. How well your diamond is “cut”, will denote the brilliance of your diamond’s sparkle. Alice Herald, lead jewellery designer at 1791diamonds.com recommends that you choose nothing less than a “very good” cut of diamond. Herald also places colour above clarity in the order for choosing your diamond. She says that you will be able to see how “white” your diamond is, more than being able to see the tiny defects or inclusions in your diamond; these are usually only visible with a 10x magnifying loupe. If you stay above an “SI2” in clarity, and above an “H” in colour, your diamond will appear bright and full of life.

8. Make sure the diamond is certified. A certificate or report from a reputable gem grading laboratory will enable you to feel confident in your buying as it will outline exactly what the gemologists have assessed your diamond to be in terms of cut, clarity, colour and carat. It’s wise to ensure that the report or certification is done by an independent diamond grading laboratory, rather than the retailer you’re buying from!

9. Be conscious to check that the retailer you purchase from doesn’t support the sale of conflict diamonds or “blood diamonds” as they’re also known. Fortunately, the introduction of the Kimberley Process Certification Scheme has brought about a significant reduction in the number of conflict diamonds traded.

10. Don’t follow all the rules. The old adage is that you’re meant to spend two months wages on an engagement ring, but that’s not always possible this day and age when the cost of living is high enough. A good trick is to go straight to the designer or look for a reputable online retailer as they can afford to place smaller mark-ups on each ring.

When I look back on the financial aspects of my childhood I recollect always having what I needed, and most of what I wanted. I considered myself most fortunate to be an only child and completely never understood the concept of sharing. My upbringing consisted of the concept that I must work to obtain the things I wanted. The first job I had was at the age of 15 and it was not considered cruel or unusual punishment. My parents were not abusive because they felt I should be expected to pay for my car insurance and gas. They did provide the food and housing and trips to the mall so it was the least I could do.

The financial basics were taught at an early age. Save, Save, Save was all I can remember. I still haven’t figured out why I never listened to that one. My assumption is that the parental figures failed to calculate in the cost of living expenses that I would incur. Hence, I am failing in the future savings department. (This just makes me feel better to blame it on someone else.)

Listen to all the financial adviser’s, parents included, and one major factor is the least focused on.The fact that you must invest in yourself first and foremost and the rest will come. You may have all the support from friends and family you could possibly need, but unless you believe in yourself your true goals may never be reached. The biggest supporter of your aspirations, financial or otherwise, stares back at you every time you look in the mirror. Get to know this person and take time to listen when that little voice begins to speak to you.

My inner being never bothers to speak up until I am so tired I just want to pass out. But for me that is the best time to get my attention. Right before I am to the point of wanting to give up, or wonder why in the world do I keep wanting to try, or think maybe the single girl has it better than me, that other part of me begins to remind me of all the reasons. She is my best motivational speaker and best yet I didn’t have to listen to a late night infomercial.

If you are like me with a spouse, children, career, and worries dropping by to visit on a regular basis you need to consider my advice. You are more important than any amount of money that could possibly be put into a mutual fund. However, no early withdrawals and your beneficiaries will most certainly be the ones around you.

Large scale industries changed the social fiber of the society at the turn of the nineteenth century; it emancipated women, led to the growth of new middle class in the society and created new social avenues for expressions.

Women no longer were the lame consumer but a bread earner for the family. More and more women start earning well as factories started hiring them because they were more disciplined workers compare to men.

With this growing independence, women started expressing themselves in society, and fashion was no different.

The fashion was influenced by two critical factors

Need for garments which enable free movement so that women can work easily in the factories. The invention of sewing machine and huge demand of clothes with changing lifestyle, created new ways of making clothes lighter and faster. This trend from bling to functionality even influenced some of the leading couture designers of the era and advent the ready to wear category (RTW) in fashion.

Secondly the fashion of the era representing the growing influence of women in the society and their changing role. Dressing up was no longer to attract men but it is also a mean to make social statement of well being.

Two achieve both of these goals the women fashion of the era moves toward more masculine wardrobe later popularized by Katherine Hepburn in Hollywood as brash and confident women.

This fashion was not only the beginning of liberalization of women in the western world but also a sign of pragmatic dressing of coming years.

It is estimated that only 10% of all murderers have been females. This is probably because women have a natural (probably hard wired) instinct to protect, care for, and nurture. This is because they have been charged with child care through the ages. How is it that some women have lost this instinct?

Severe child abuse, neglect, maternal rejection, and exposure to violence as a young child can interrupt the development of this instinct. It can delay the development of skills needed for appropriate social relationships including the maternal instinct for child care.

The ability to harm others comes from another path. When most of us harm others we can feel empathy for the person we have injured and remorse for our actions. Harming others makes us feel “bad.” Thus, we are inhibited from purposefully taking an action to harm another person. We don’t want to feel “bad,” so we avoid harming others.

Additionally, empathy is at Stage III of moral development (ages 7 – 11, Kohlberg). If either trauma or a lack of opportunity for pro-social skill building takes place in this stage or earlier, empathy for others does not develop. Women who lack this skill and are not given the opportunity to develop it, are at risk to harm others, especially their own children.

Some propose that lesions in the prefrontal cortex of the brain cause lapses in judgment that result in “bad” behavior. In fact, Dr. Robert Hare, recently, has shown that psychopaths have poorer brain function resulting in an inferior capacity to reason, especially when it comes to activities that involve emotion. The source of this immature brain development has also been linked to severe, early childhood abuse and neglect.

So, if a woman lacks empathy and has poor judgment due to immature brain development, she is at even higher risk to harm others. So, if a woman with the skills and maturity of a 4 or 5 year old is trying to manage job, relationships, family responsibilities, and stress as an adult, the functioning of this person’s system is going to fail.

The following women display some of the characteristics and family background traits described above. No diagnosis is made of any of the women discussed here and none is implied. The goal of this article is to understand the common precursors among women exhibiting antisocial behaviors in order to prevent their recurrence in others.

In the news:
- June 20, 2001. 36 year old Andrea Yates drowns her 5 small children. Mrs. Yates had a history of mental illness. She reported that she had thoughts of hurting her children for two years.

- Sept. 14, 2009. A Grant County, Washington woman confessed to a plot to kill her husband after years of alleged abuse. She allegedly asked her son to help get the pills and knife to help kill her husband.

- Westminster. Sept. 16, 2009. 38 year old Thuy Le confesses to attempting to stab her two small daughters to death and then attempting suicide.

Historical Figures
Elizabeth Bathory (April 24, 2007; Jeanne Marie Kerns) lived in 1600 Hungary. Raised by and married to family members steeped in traditions of black magic and cruelty, she became convinced that she could remain young by bathing in the blood of young women. She invited local women to her castle as servants, but then tortured, drained them of blood, and killed them. Six hundred bodies were found in her castle when she was finally discovered. Having gone completely insane, she spent the rest of her life alone, boarded up in her castle.

Myra Hindley lived her early life with her alcoholic and abusive father. She was eventually sent to live with her grandmother, but the damage to her psyche, social functioning, progress of coping skills, and brain maturity had been done. In her teen years, she did not do well in school and suffered the death of a close friend. As we all do, she needed to be close to someone.

Lacking the skills for a pro-social relationship, she became devoted to Ian Brady and his life of sadism, pornography and Nazi admiration. Lacking the skill to find satisfaction from a deep interpersonal relationship, they sought ever more excitement through the adrenalin rushes found in risky and horrifying behaviors.

Together, they sexually abused, tortured and killed 5 children and teens in the 1960’s and became known as the Moors Murderers of England. Like an addiction, each horrible act had to be followed by a more awful act to generate the same level of rush. Soon, nothing mattered but the “rush.” Having no empathy or remorse, they recorded the pleas of at least one of the children as she was tortured. This was likely to re-experience the rush or high at a later time. Myra was finally captured by the police and received a life sentence. She died in jail.

Aileen Wuornos was rejected by her mother, who was also a child, her sex offender father, and her grandmother, who died when Aileen was in her early teens. She went on a killing spree from 1989 to 1990. She claimed self defense, but was convicted of murder. It is believed that she was psychopath and killed for pleasure and money. Again, it can be hypothesized that the addiction to the rush or the high of risky and horrific behavior substituted for the satisfaction most of us find in normal relationships.

Aileen did not have the capacity to find satisfaction in a normal relationship, so she substituted the “rush” for relationship. This was despite the fact that she had a superficial relationship with a young woman at that time.

Rosemary West’s mother suffered from depression and received ECT while pregnant with her. Additionally, Rosemary’s father sexually abused her. She was a moody teenager who did not do well in school. Rosemary married Mr. West and was a prostitute while her husband watched. They were arrested and released in 1973 when a victim escaped. Her father was a frequent prostitution customer. Additionally, Rosemary had 8 children, one of whom she killed.

Rosemary West and her husband tortured and killed 12 women between the years of 1973 and 1979. The skeletal remains of the couple’s victims were found under their house in 1994 and she was convicted of 10 counts of murder. Her husband committed suicide in jail before his trial. The motive appeared to be one of sadomasochism mixed with sexual deviance. Neither Mr. nor Mrs. West were capable of a normal, mature relationship with any level of satisfaction or depth. Their chaotic upbringing did not allow the development of that capacity.

Yet, all of us have the need to connect with another. When one has the need, but lacks the skill to fulfill the need, a person looks in strange places to find satisfaction. Deviant activities, lead to further deviant activities, but never lead to true social satisfaction and human relationship. Lacking in this, the horror goes on.

Many female murderers had histories of chaotic upbringing, rejecting, substance abusing, or absent mothers, or sexual abuse. This injury to the early attachment bonds cannot be underestimated. It delayed social and personal development to the extent that they were unable to cope with everyday life. In the never ending search for connectedness and belonging, they found the “thrill” of risk, deviance and the adrenaline rush. Their lack of empathy and remorse allowed them to harm others in their addiction to the next bigger “rush.” Only incarceration could stop them, as they could not stop themselves.

It is too difficult to stop the out of control train going 500 miles an hour down the hill. We must make the train with sufficient brakes and mechanism to maneuver the tracks safely.

How do we restructure a safer train with good brakes and controls? We must see that families have the capacity to adequately care for their children and help them grow up in healthy ways. When parents have been raised in chaos, they lack skills to provide this for their children and must have someone provide it for them. Intergenerational violence and neglect, then, must be stopped at its roots by strengthening and supporting families that need maintenance and skills.

Sometimes children must be removed from extremely abusive, violent and neglectful homes, but supporting the families with services can be tried first. When children are well cared for, they are able to develop skills in a normal progression, including empathy, reasoning, logic, social relatedness, and coping. This is the path for preventing future violence among women.